Every time a pregnant mom walks into Billie’s quilt shop she’s faced with a moral dilemma. Especially if the mom is with her own mother.

They’re buying fabric to outfit the nursery, Billie said. Curtains, quilt, bumper pads, diaper holder, etc., etc., — all with smiling Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls, jungle scenes or pink princess designs.

And they’re willing to spend plenty for it. Hundreds, in fact, said the Norman, OK, store owner.

Billie would like to tell them not to, but she can’t. She’s in the business of selling fabric.

The problem? She wishes young couples would save their money. Put it in a college fund, or pay for something more important than expensive curtains and bedding.

She’s a sharp lady. She knows too many moms work outside the home, and the effect of separation on small children isn’t good. She’s not talking about moms who work to put food on the table out of utter necessity. She’s talking about women who choose to work instead of caring for the baby they brought into the world.

Billie’s face grew serious as she brought up a painful truth. The message seems to be lost on the next generation, she said. Why does it matter? Because babies don’t care if they have matching crib sets and designer baby clothes. They don’t care if they come home from the hospital to sleep in a Jenny Lind crib or a dresser drawer.

Years ago, a friend’s mother insisted that her grandbabies have all the coolest stuff. Problem is, her hard-working son-in-law couldn’t afford it. Not one to take “no” for an answer, the mother-in-law went out and bought it all for them. My friend’s husband felt like a big zip. His wife couldn’t withstand the pressure. She allowed herself to become a “material mom,” and the marriage did not last.

At a baby shower I complimented a young mom on her little girl’s adorable outfit. It was a little sundress with bloomers. As the three-year-old pranced across the room, the mama gloated as though her kid had just won the Miss America pageant. She buys her all her daughter’s clothes from online catalogs, she said.

Of course there is nothing wrong with shopping online. I do it myself.

What made my jaw drop is what she said next: She reason she shops online, she said, is because she won’t have her child  seen in the same outfit as another kid at her preschool. If this is how the woman wants to raise her daughter, that’s her business. But it’s pretty pathetic. Maybe she’ll have her own reality TV show when she grows up.

I recently asked a group of moms to respond to my question on what babies really need. Christine’s answer was absolutely priceless: “Love, boobs, and a nice thrift store.”

For sure babies need more than that. But Christine understood my meaning. She’s saying, “Get down to the bare bones, set priorities and a budget.” It might actually be possible to become a stay-at-home mom.

Read the article, “The Science of Attachment Parenting: The Biological Roots of Love,” right here at www.familyfieldguide.com.