Second Impeachment Gives New Meaning to Carole King Song, “It’s Too Late”
Trump’s second impeachment in the House has been accomplished. I can’t pretend I’m not happy. In fact, I believe justice has been done. What came to mind this morning as I listened to the House debate, was the song, “It’s Too Late,” by Carole King. As one of the lines goes, “One of us is changing, or maybe we’ve just stopped trying.” In the end, leaving is never easy. It just requires a firm decision by one of the partners to pull the proverbial plug.
Not long ago, a woman I know ended a bad marriage – one that had gone on for too long. After years of neglect and abuse, she met someone who loved and valued her, and offered her a chance at happiness. So, she got a divorce and remarried. For her ex, it was “too late, baby.” I liken her story to the situation many Conservative lawmakers are now confronting. If they have indeed come that far.
While the House of Representative had sufficient votes for this unprecedented move – impeaching a president for a second time – some representatives, and even more senators, are still living in an alternate reality. One shaped by a delusional president – and I think my readers will allow that assumption. Disregarding the embarrassing relationship of convenience Conservatives have maintained with Trump for the past four years, they now say that impeachment will further divide the nation. They insist that now is the time to come together and heal. (Que the violins.)
Enabling a dysfunctional partner, as any wife or husband of an alcoholic can tell you, only creates a toxic relationship. Yet the habit of ignoring the elephant in the room has warped the thinking of many Conservative lawmakers. They have set aside their own deeply held beliefs to jibe with Trump’s damaging rhetoric and deluded thinking. I’m especially sad about the Evangelicals who’ve abandoned Christ’s teachings for Trump’s selfish demands. Still, reality continues to elude many of the president’s faithful, even after the abuse, the lies, the race-baiting, the self-centered behavior, ad infinitum. For many of Trump’s followers, coming out of denial – having that “come to Jesus meeting,” has yet to occur.
Why wasn’t there a call for unity earlier, when most of the country was convulsed by Trump’s claims of election fraud and his insane manipulations to overturn the vote? For that matter, where were they every time he sowed seeds of hate? Why didn’t his enablers call off their relationship then? Is it not ironic that today, a day of reckoning, they’re asking for all that to be overlooked, forgiven? Excuse me, but I did not hear repentance spilling from their lips. Only the wish to jump from A to Z – forgetting all that has happened in between. In the end, a paltry ten Republicans voted to impeach.
The Conservative argument about last summer’s BLM protests relies on “whataboutism,” and is very disappointing. Yes, there was violence, property damage, even death. But I will wager that no one participating in those demonstrations, however violent they may have been, was organizing to overthrow the United States government. Isn’t that what’s on the table right now? The accusation of inciting insurrection?
As with the young woman at the start of my post, these elected men and women could have spoken out long ago. They could have stopped being enablers and removed their heads from the sand. However, I applaud those who are doing so, even at this late date. But Republicans need to remember something: unity is not about glossing over the pain caused by Mr. Trump and his sycophants, and simply moving on. It’s about showing empathy for the pain and suffering he caused, and listening to the damage reports. It’s about saying, “I hear you, and I’m sorry.” It’s about owning prejudiced thinking and correcting it. In the end, unity means showing respect for diverse views and then finding common ground. With some people, unfortunately, finding unity is impossible. They refuse to learn and grow. Yet it only takes one person, one partner in a relationship, to find their voice, and say, “It’s too late baby, now, it’s too late.” FFG
Gluten-free Apple-Almond Crumble: My Husband’s Self-Quarantine Reward:
- You will need about 6 medium-large apples, peeled, cored and sliced. I added 1/2 C whole cranberries, which I happened to have in my freezer – but these are optional. Transfer sliced apples to a large mixing bowl.
- Squeeze juice from 1/2 lemon. Add 1/2 tsp. pure almond extract, and gently stir into the sliced apples.
- Sprinkle 2 TBS brown rice flour (or other) over apples and stir to coat.
- Combine 1/2 C brown sugar (or turbinado sugar), 1 tsp. cinnamon, 1/4 tsp. powdered ginger, dash of nutmeg. Add to the sliced apples. Set aside.
To make the bottom crumb crust and topping:
Prepare an 8: x 8″ square Pyrex baking dish with a light coating of cooking spray.
In a separate mixing bowl, blend together:
- 1 C almond flour
- 1 C oat flour (make your own in the blender – it’s easy. Note: If you’re on a gluten free diet, make sure your oats are gluten free.)
- Add 1/2 C turbinado sugar.
- Stir in 1 tsp. cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, and 1/4 tsp. ground cardamom (if desired)
- Cut in 8 TBS (1/2 C) any of the following, or a combination: solid coconut oil, butter, or Earth Balance).
- Set aside 1/2 of this mixture for the topping.
- Press the other half of the mixture into an 8″ x 8″ square Pyrex baking dish.
- Pour apple mixture into the crumb crust.
- Distribute remaining mixture (topping) evenly over apples. Sprinkle with sliced almonds if desired.
Place on medium oven rack. Set timer for 40 min. (If your oven does not bake evenly, turn the dish 180 degrees midway through baking.
Your apple-almond crumble should be bubbling hot when done, and nicely brown. Remove to a cooling rack. Serve with whipped cream, if desired, or a little vanilla ice cream. Mmmm! FFG
Helping Kids Do Battle with Pandemic Disappointment
How well are you, as a parent, responding to the disappointment the pandemic keeps doling out to your kids? Are you able to help them deal with life’s lemons? Or are you diving into the pity-party with them? Saying “no” to the fun things children have grown to expect, even though many activities have been put on hold, can be really difficult. They don’t understand. Plus, missing out on birthday parties at Pistol Pete’s, Saturday soccer games, and dance recitals is disappointing for parents, too. While the majority of households had children moved to online learning last fall, where they usually have contact with a teacher (www.usafacts.org), kids continue to miss out on valuable relationships with friends and family. And that can be very disappointing.
No one wants to be in charge of delivering bad news. Let’s just say it’s something parents signed up for when they had kids in the first place. Yet it’s important to know that how well adults deal with stress and adversity can impact how well their offspring handle it in the future, when everything most assuredly won’t go their way.
The ability to deal with stress begins in infancy. As babies do not have the ability to calm themselves, they rely on parents and caregivers to respond lovingly to their immediate needs for food, holding, smiles and love. The development of the stress-response system is based on these early interactions.
When my four children were at home, helping them deal with disappointment (considered manageable stress) meant not abandoning them to their grief or being dismissive about it, but just letting them be sad. Being dismissive means saying things like, “Get over it.” Or, “Don’t give me those crocodile tears.” That’s not the way to go. The key to helping kids work through their grief is showing empathy: gently helping them to identify their feelings and being compassionate. You might say, “You’re disappointed that we couldn’t go to the zoo, and you’re sad about it.”
I always felt sad inside when my kids were sad. I couldn’t help it. As a result, I sometimes tried to fix things for them. In time, however, I found they were better at fixing their own problems: best-friend crises, finding items they’d lost (sometimes). And handling disappointment. I discovered it didn’t kill them. It’s easy to see why parents would choose alternative celebrations during coronavirus: standing at a distance and wearing a mask isn’t easy to enforce with young ones. They just don’t get the fine print. That’s because young children operate more on emotion than rational thought. It’s hard for them to grasp that someone who visited Aunt Mary yesterday could be contagious and not have known it. Or that cousins visiting Grandma and Grandpa from out-of-state could have been exposed on their flight. It happens all the time. It’s how the virus spreads.
What matters is that parents act sensibly, but also show empathy for their children’s disappointment. It’s not necessary to make it up to them all the time. But it might help to act as a buffer when possible. For example, you might say, “I can tell you’re disappointed, but we really can’t visit Grandpa yet. How about we play a game of Monopoly (or whatever) this afternoon?”
I would be willing to bet that in the post-pandemic years, young adults who experienced the COVID-19 pandemic as children will be more resilient than those who did not. Someone really needs to do a study. But scientists will also have to study their parents’ attitudes. The child whose parents spent the pandemic griping about Dr. Fauci’s prevention protocols and blaming the Chinese might not grow up more resilient. They might, however, grow up to be a Republican. FFG
