Nature abhors a vacuum. When the facts are no longer there, the void must be filled with something. And that something has become disinformation.

A new focus in some schools is helping students sort through the facts, tossing out disinformation, and embracing fact-finding.

An initiative in Florida designed to teach “digital literacy,” is one such program. (https://www.npr.org/2021/03/30/980405254/as-bad-information-spreads-florida-schools-seek-to-teach-digital-literacy)

Michael McConnell, who spent his career in national intelligence and security, is working to get this type of instruction into schools. McConnell told National Public Radio, “We need to understand this so we can appreciate what’s happening to us, and be able to not only understand it, to be able to navigate through it,” McConnell said. “That’s what I call digital literacy.”

OK. Let’s rewind. We still have high school students who cannot read beyond a fifth-grade comprehension level, can’t name the seven continents or point to them on a map, and have no idea how to write a decent paragraph.

How does this relate to the mass consumption of disinformation? It relates in that adults who went to school after the country largely abandoned the fact-based teaching paradigm are now at a huge disadvantage: they just don’t know enough to tell the difference between fact and fiction.

We started abandoning fact-based teaching in the 1980s, just as my children were becoming school-age. It was always my assumption that they would be taught as I was taught. They would learn facts. And then they would have a basis from which to formulate ideas and questions in their minds.  They would learn where the Nile River was and memorize their multiplication tables. They would know which trees were coniferous and which were deciduous.

Teachers “teaching” students was the accepted pedagogy. Instead, the pedagogy flipped to “students as learners.” What my children encountered in school, back in the 1980s and ’90s, were group projects for which one student mostly did all the work and the rest did nothing. They got consensus-building, and “soft-subjects,” like self-esteem and multi-cultural appreciation classes, where they made up acrostics with their own names and constructed piñatas. We were in the age of the experimental “Outcomes-based Education” model. It didn’t matter how long it took for a student to learn something. And Theodore Sizer’s Coalition of Essential Schools, with principles such as, “students as their own teachers,” and “teachers as facilitators.”

This, I’m afraid, is where we dropped the ball. I believe they called it Goals 2000. And there was money to be made by going about the country peddling teacher training in dubious models.

When children learned facts, they learned to trust what is true. They could check their answers and know for a certainty that they knew it. They found answers they’d looked up in an encyclopedia or textbook.  And their teachers carefully graded their papers and made them go back and correct their mistakes. Sure, we have come a long way in our understanding of cultural bias. And we need to continue making changes as the facts become clear. Because the teaching of facts is an important preventative to making up and consuming disinformation. If someone told a third grader in 1960 that the Amazon River was in Africa, he could rebut the fact. “It’s in South America, you idiot!”

They told us that children no longer needed to know facts by heart. All the facts are on the internet, at the touch of a button. Well, a lot of disinformation is also on the internet at the touch of a button.

If we don’t fill our children with fact-based truths, as well as moral truths, through our careful teaching and example, they have not a leg to stand on.

Like poplar trees easily blown over in the wind, our children’s shallow understanding of the world will allow them to be bowled over by rancorous entertainment “news” that makes viewers to feel like victims. Group projects and consensus building will have groomed them for accepting disinformation lest they have to do all the work themselves.

I appreciate Facebook just as much as the next person. But I have a problem: I cannot for love or money fix my fan Page. Like the Great Oz, Facebook can speak to us, but we can’t speak to it – no matter how many times we fill out the little window we’re supposed to use.

So I am pleading my case:  I need Facebook to help me access my Family Field Guide fan page so I can post on it – www.facebook.com/familyfieldguide. It’s been perhaps a week since the page has been blurred out. As it happens, a huge FB ad occupies the middle of it, and now I can’t click on anything except the ad’s eventual directive to start a “business account.”  (You get there once you click through.) There is no other option. However, since I am not a business, just a humble parenting page that makes no money whatsoever, I will not open such an account.

My own personal FB page (timeline, whatever it’s called) is something I never use; I don’t care about amassing “friends.” I care about connecting families – moms and dads and grandparents and aunties – with helpful information. It’s what I’ve done for a very long time.

Below you can see the ad in question. But first allow me to clarify: I am a resource Page. I also write a WordPress blog about family issues like raising emotionally healthy children. Sometimes I write about cooking, or current events, or politics, as they relate to children and their families. I have never been banned from Facebook. Once upon a time my Page was connected to this website. You could click on the FB icon and get there. But somehow that connection is no more. (Is this something FB wants me to fix? I just learned today that someone can comment on my Page, but their comments only appear under “Notifications.” Also, it’s impossible to click on it and link to my website. Here’s what it looks like:

Meanwhile,  I am frustrated. I don’t need to know about “audience trends,” “age and location,” or my “top-preforming content.” And I’m tired of dealing with the mess after a relatively problem-free 10-year relationship. Basically, I’m really sad.

And even though the ad says, “If you change your mind, you can go back to using the classic Pages experience,” I am wondering, why is this necessary?

I would be ever so appreciative if someone from Facebook would PM me, send me an email – whatever. I know we can figure this out.

Here’s the ad:

 

What happens when someone in your world refuses to take responsibility for their duties? Well, if it’s a 12-year-old who’s failed to wheel the dumpster to the curb on trash day, a parent can withhold a privilege. Hopefully, the kid won’t forget next time.

 

But what if the person failing to fulfill a duty is the one in charge, like a parent, or a boss? Someone with power. And no one is allowed to say anything about it?

 

Some years ago, my friend Shelly told me about her weekly visits with her father.  Her parents divorced when she just a kid, and on Sundays, her mom dropped her off at her dad’s place.  He watched sports the entire day. She cooked him his meals, which he ate, all the while ignoring her. She felt so alone, she said. So emotionally abandoned. As an adult she composed a letter to her deceased father, expressing her pent up anger. And then she threw it away.

 

This symbolic gesture may have helped the adult Shelly. But it did nothing to change the pain she felt as a child. Unfortunately, no one ever held her dad accountable for being a disinterested jerk of a parent.

 

As I’ve tried to work through the question of accountability lately, I see that much of what frustrates people is the inability to level responsibility. Not blaming, but consciously putting the responsibility for failure where it belongs. It’s a reality check, saying, “Yup, that really happened.”

 

I think that’s important, because the person we’re having a problem with, the person who won’t accept responsibility for their behavior, might not allow a confrontation. They may think they’re right as rain. But unable to self-reflect, they could act offended, cut us off, or hurt us in some other way.

 

Therapists often recommend journal-writing for expressing anger and resentment. Or perhaps sharing one’s feelings in a support group. A counselor once told me to envision the most peaceful place I could think of. And then there’s prayer and meditation. But how can we blame God when a person whose behavior we detest doesn’t change? We can crank up all our courage to confront the bully, narcissist, or happy slacker who sets our teeth on edge, but sometimes there is no “come to Jesus “moment. No acceptance of responsibility, no dramatic change in the relationship. The irresponsible party continues to offend and it seems we can’t do anything about it – not if we plan to stay and preserve the veneer of a stable family or work situation.

 

I guess that’s what’s known as the “elephant in the room.” It’s so big and obvious, and so powerful, that it must be ignored. As a result, everyone has to tip-toe around and not make the elephant angry while the elephant goes along unscathed. It’s what we generally call “dysfunction.”

 

Applying this definition to politics, the bigger problem isn’t the person in office, who just happens to be ignoring propriety and abusing power.  It’s the people who for voted him and continue to support him – in spite of his offensive behavior.

 

So here we were. For the past four years, we’ve tried to understand how someone in a position of great authority could be so unwilling to take responsibility for demoralizing a nation. Proudly creating a cult following, he will not be called to accountability. Some called Donald Trump’s caustic verbiage “freedom of speech.” But to me, he was that elephant in the room.

 

Parents are often guilty of ignoring their shameful behavior. As are teachers who demean students and bosses who openly cheat on their spouses. The list is long. It takes a real wake up call, perhaps a catastrophe, before some people realize the trauma they’ve caused.

 

During the January 6 attempted overthrow of our government, Capitol police officer Eugene Goodman was just doing his job when a violent mob broke through the doors and windows of the Capitol building. Their goal was forcing the Senate to overturn the November election. Using split-second decision-making, Goodman led rioters away from the Senate chamber as they wildly chanted, “Hang Mike Pence,” and “Where’s Pelosi?” ” They were carrying out what they believed to be a mandate from their boss, Donald Trump. Goodman, on the other hand, was carrying out his responsibility to the nation.

 

In 1972, Frank Wills – coincidentally, another Black man – also helped save our Democracy. A security guard at the Watergate complex in Washington, D.C., Wills noticed that someone had tampered with the locks on office doors and called the police. His actions that night unwittingly launched what became known as the Watergate Scandal, and the subsequent train of events that led to the House drawing up three articles of impeachment against President Nixon.  With evidence mounting against him, however, Nixon chose to resign.

 

“According to Wills’ obituary in The New York Times, the ‘most eloquent description of his role’ in American history came on July 29, 1974; Rep. James Mann (D-South Carolina), while casting his vote to impeach Nixon on the House Judiciary Committee, said: “If there is no accountability, another president will feel free to do as he chooses. But the next time there may be no watchman in the night.” (WIkipedia)https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Wills_(security_guard)

 

We have all been “watchmen” during Trump’s presidency. We watched as he empowered White Supremacists. As he denigrated immigrants and maliciously labeled the free press “fake news.” And we watched as he spun the “Great Lie” leading to the Capitol riot. We watched it all – only in broad daylight.  By writing emails, contributing to Trump’s opponent, and maybe slapping bumper stickers on our cars, we tried to act like the parents in the room. And through the impeachment process, the House of Representatives twice reinforced our faith in Democracy by taking up their Constitutional responsibility. But it was the press, in my opinion, who never let us down. Faithful witnesses to our trauma, they kept us not only informed but hopeful that the November election would allow us to click “re-center” on the nation’s GPS, taking us home to a safer, more sane, way of life.

 

Now, after leveling responsibility, we should release our anger: scream into a pillow, shred some paper. Maybe run for office. But let out the rage. How the offender reacts to our charges is out of our control. But finding our voices, we must vow never to let it happen again.  FFG

Trump’s second impeachment in the House has been accomplished. I can’t pretend I’m not happy. In fact, I believe justice has been done. What came to mind this morning as I listened to the House debate, was the song, “It’s Too Late,” by Carole King. As one of the lines goes, “One of us is changing, or maybe we’ve just stopped trying.” In the end, leaving is never easy. It just requires a firm decision by one of the partners to pull the proverbial plug.

Not long ago, a woman I know ended a bad marriage – one that had gone on for too long. After years of neglect and abuse, she met someone who loved and valued her, and offered her a chance at happiness. So, she got a divorce and remarried. For her ex, it was “too late, baby.” I liken her story to the situation many Conservative lawmakers are now confronting. If they have indeed come that far.

While the House of Representative had sufficient votes for this unprecedented move – impeaching a president for a second time – some representatives, and even more senators, are still living in an alternate reality. One shaped by a delusional president – and I think my readers will allow that assumption. Disregarding the embarrassing relationship of convenience Conservatives have maintained with Trump for the past four years, they now say that impeachment will further divide the nation. They insist that now is the time to come together and heal. (Que the violins.)

Enabling a dysfunctional partner, as any wife or husband of an alcoholic can tell you, only creates a toxic relationship. Yet the habit of ignoring the elephant in the room has warped the thinking of many Conservative lawmakers. They have set aside their own deeply held beliefs to jibe with Trump’s damaging rhetoric and deluded thinking. I’m especially  sad about the Evangelicals who’ve abandoned Christ’s teachings for Trump’s selfish demands. Still, reality continues to elude many of the president’s faithful, even after the abuse, the lies, the race-baiting, the self-centered behavior, ad infinitum. For many of Trump’s followers, coming out of denial – having that “come to Jesus meeting,” has yet to occur.

Why wasn’t there a call for unity earlier, when most of the country was convulsed by Trump’s claims of election fraud and his insane manipulations to overturn the vote? For that matter, where were they every time he sowed seeds of hate? Why didn’t his enablers call off their relationship then? Is it not ironic that today, a day of reckoning, they’re asking for all that to be overlooked, forgiven? Excuse me, but I did not hear repentance spilling from their lips. Only the wish to jump from A to Z – forgetting all that has happened in between. In the end, a paltry ten Republicans voted to impeach.

The Conservative argument about last summer’s BLM protests relies on “whataboutism,” and is very disappointing. Yes, there was violence, property damage, even death. But I will wager that no one participating in those demonstrations, however violent they may have been, was organizing to overthrow the United States government. Isn’t that what’s on the table right now? The accusation of inciting insurrection?

As with the young woman at the start of my post, these elected men and women could have spoken out long ago. They could have stopped being enablers and removed their heads from the sand. However, I applaud those who are doing so, even at this late date. But Republicans need to remember something: unity is not about glossing over the pain caused by Mr. Trump and his sycophants, and simply moving on. It’s about showing empathy for the pain and suffering he caused, and listening to the damage reports. It’s about saying, “I hear you, and I’m sorry.” It’s about owning prejudiced thinking and correcting it. In the end, unity means showing respect for diverse views and then finding common ground. With some people, unfortunately, finding unity is impossible. They refuse to learn and grow. Yet it only takes one person, one partner in a relationship, to find their voice, and say, “It’s too late baby, now, it’s too late.”  FFG