I had done all the preliminary play-date scheduling so that my son, then five, could have a friend over. This was the plan: Since his friend lived a few blocks away, my son and I were going to walk to the bottom of the hill, where the boy’s mom or dad would hand him over and the three of us would walk back to our house.

But that didn’t happen. Some moms might say I should have shrugged it off. No biggy. But that depends on what you call “big.”

My kids weren’t allowed to watch TV, let alone rated PG 13 movies, so walking to the corner was BIG.

Here’s what really went down. My son got all bundled up in his coat and mittens, excited to be meeting his friend. We had planned this little outing a few days earlier and I looked forward to spending time with him on the walk. He was just so delighted about having a friend from his kindergarten class to play with.

Then all of a sudden, “Knock, knock.”

 I opened the door and guess who.

Me: I thought we were going to meet down at the end of the road.

Dad: Yeah, well. Jeffy got impatient. He couldn’t wait. Huh, huh, huh!

I looked down at my little boy, standing there in his coat and mittens, all ready to go.

Me: We were just about to walk out the door.

Dad: I was going out anyway, so I guess I saved you the trouble! Here, you can take him.

A huge baby-faced guy, the dad acted like he was passing on a communicable disease instead of his kid. He gave me his best “c’est la vie” look and walked away.

I wanted to call him a meat head, but reined in my mouth. This guy had no clue that some people actually THINK about how they want to raise their kids. I had planned to meet the dad at the corner, not at my front door. I was beginning to realize that prior plans just don’t matter to some people.

Why was I disturbed by the incident? Lots of reasons.

1. I wanted to help my child make a plan and carry it out. It’s a good life lesson.
2. I wanted him to savor the anticipation of something. It’s good for kids to have something to look forward to; it gives them a feeling of happiness and curiosity.
3.  I wanted to share time together with my son.
4. I wanted both of us to walk – it’s good exercise.
5. I wanted him to enjoy the company of his friend on the walk, doing whatever boys do.

Just minor things, maybe but important to me. I understand that perhaps the dad had better, or more important, things to do than walk his kid to the corner.

But it’s too bad for that little boy. He might never know the thrill of looking and looking down the street for a friend, and jumping up and down with excitement as the friend approaches, and asking mom or dad, “Can I run to meet him?” And worst of all, he heard his dad say that he couldn’t wait and that he’s impatient. Not exactly attributes a parent should reinforce in a child.

Another time I was talking to a mom on the phone. I said my kids and I were going to the library to get summer reading books. She said, “Kaitlin doesn’t have the patience to read.”

And then she said, probably turning to Kaitlin who was right there in the room, “Do you, honey?” As though she were proud of the fact!

I’ve heard parents say so many disparaging things about their kids, all within earshot. What’s up with that, anyway?

My kids did get to go to the corner and wait for people. And they got do all sorts of wonderful things. The bigger lesson is that sometimes, more often than not, you need to have patience and persevere. The good things in life are worth waiting for. FFG